


Aren't we what you wanted

by astr0emeria



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Deceit Sanders Angst, Good Deceit Sanders, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, deceit split
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astr0emeria/pseuds/astr0emeria
Summary: The light sides saw Deceit as something he wasn’t. The solution? Becoming what they saw.
Relationships: None
Comments: 27
Kudos: 123





	1. Split

He clawed at his chest, trying desperately to make the feeling stop. The emptiness, the sadness the anger the violence the malice. He didn- he couldn’t be the one they saw, he knew it, but it only made him feel worse because he was sure he was that monster they saw him as. His claws ripped his flesh and tore his scales away. It hurt, but it couldn’t hurt more than those feelings, than those comments. Blood stained his hands, they stained his clothes and it dripped down his left side in abundance. His breath was erratic, desperate. He started to cough. He coughed blood. Lots of blood. He was burning.

_It hurt I wasn’t- no he was who me no you no…no no nono nononono_

It burned, it hurt, it ripped. Thoughts spiraled endlessly in his head, screams echoed louder and louder in his ears and he clawed at them, ripping them apart in bloodied ribbons of flesh, but the voices continued still, laughing at his misery.

_I wasn’t like that, you were what they said we were he wasn’t I wasn’t hewasn’thewasn’thewasn’t he… he was- NO you are no I’m not!_

_Who are you? me_

_Who are you? us_

_No. Apart. Separated. Different. One good, one bad. nothing like you I-I hate He hated- who?_

Remus knocked at his their door, panic in their voice as he screamed their name.

_Was he here to separate us, it hurt, it hurts so much Am-I screaming or are-you screaming, maybe we both are._

Then it happened, it hurt, it hurt more, it hurt so much, then it stopped. He was, then he wasn’t. He splintered into pieces, tiny irregular and sharp pieces. He could feel, but, at the same time, he couldn’t, it wasn’t him, it was them, but they were him. He drifted in a black void, it was pressing against his lungs, he couldn’t breath, so he stopped. A single tear rolled down his face as he surrendered to the darkness, there was no point in fighting anyways.

A wave of energy shook every side to his core, it even shook Thomas who crumbled to the ground, his legs weak and unable to breathe for a few seconds. Remus and Roman felt their split a second time. And the realisation doomed on them, someone did just like them, just like King.

Someone had split.

In Deceit’s room, the screams died out. Two sides crawled on the floor, in pain and disoriented. One was covered in scales, he twisted on himself and got up. His movements were fluid, too fluid. He slowly opened his eyes. He had slit pupils and they were glowing with a dim yellow light. Despite the pain, he smiled. A cruel smile spreading across his face. He flickered his tongue, tasting the air. He looked at the trembling side lying on the floor. He was small in comparison to Thomas, not like him. The scaled side was tall, towering, inhumane.

He stepped forward, ready to crush the weak side’s skull under his boot, when the door exploded, and Remus barged inside. The tall side stepped back into the shadows, his black clothing hiding him.

The little side got on his knees with difficulty, he looked awfully normal to Remus. No scales, no hat, no hissing, even his clothe were a light pastel yellow instead of black. The fact dawned on him even more, Deceit had split. Remus took a small step forward, trying not to cry realising that he would probably never see his friend again.

The light noise that Remus’ shoes made were enough to alert the other side who sunk out immediately after seeing the author of the sound, leaving the dark creativity alone, crying in the room of his former friend.

Well, almost alone, he still hadn’t seen the tall side looming over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This stated as a one shot that I wrote in like fifteen minutes, but I loved it too much.-w-"


	2. First contacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit's halves make different impressions.

Thomas just had summoned all his light sides for a meeting to discuss what happened minutes earlier. Roman was still visibly shaking and stayed mute despite the comfort his friends provided to him. They were all confused and worried over what had happened and if it could affect Thomas or Roman negatively again. Well, Roman wasn’t confused, he was lost in memories that weren’t exactly his, but weren’t exactly someone else’s either.

They were murmuring to each other, theorizing about the evenement and comforting Roman, when a sudden cold sent chill down their spines and they could smell a deep scent of water in the room. It was usually the sign of a dark side’s arrival, which were grandiose and dramatic, but sound no was heard. Deceit’s evil laugh didn’t echo through the mindscape and nobody heard Remus’ gruesome or explicit ideas. 

Logan, being the worse at comforting, got off the couch to search for the side that had teleported in their living room or kitchen. He hadn’t taken two steps when a whimper resonated from behind the couch. Everyone froze. Patton was the first to react, he bended over the back of the couch and gasped. An unknown side was curled up in a ball and shaking. He was dressed in loose light-yellow pastel clothing. Little white glowing dots littered his arms and cheeks and he was bare feet. 

The sound making him snap out of his trance, Roman was the one to take the lead. He knew what to do, he had experience. The creative side whipped carried the new side were the others were sitting and wiped his tears. Thomas looked at the others expectantly, wanting to know who the man was. Nobody answered, nobody could. 

Roman whispered in the unconscious guy’s ear something that their host couldn’t quite catch and started humming slowly. The side’s eyes fluttered open as he struggled to sit and was quickly helped by the light side.

“Hi, how are you feeling. Are you okay?” Roman said.

“I’m feeling… I don’t know, missing, but also expected? It’s weird, but I…I think I’m okay.”

His voice was smooth, and it immediately reminded someone to Logan, but the logical side wasn’t quite sure who. When Thomas spoke, his tone was unsure and worried.

“Well, I don’t want to be rude, but who are you?”

“You’re not rude! I’m Truth, I don’t think I have another name than this one.”

Truth smile weakly to his host and gently turned to Roman.

“Do I know you? It’s like I do and don’t at the same time it’s very confusing.”

The words resonated with the sides, they were the exact same ones that the creative side had said after the split. Patton tugged at Thomas’s shirt and whispered what they thought had happened to the man in light yellow. Creativity presented everyone by their title and name. After a short silence and getting the approval of everyone in the room, he explained once more.

“You… might be confused for a bit and feel like you’re missing something, and that feeling will never quite go away, but…uh, well, Truth, we think you might be the half of a side who, like, split. You can trust me, I’m the result of a split myself. We don’t know whose half you are yet, we kinda only had a Deceit, but, from now on, you’re a side!”

“Oh.”

The truthful side’s eyes went wide, and he nodded. He blinked and tried to get up only to wobble and fall as he fell unconscious and slipped into sleep. The other sides caught him and set him on the couch to rest.

++++++++

Remus was crying, destroyed by the loss of his friend and submerged by ancient memories of his split. His intrusive thoughts were running on full speed at the sight of the blood covering the floor and walls. He whined and pulled at his hair, trying not to succumb to his urges to trash the room until only a pile of broken shards of wood, rock and metal was left.

He whispered madly incoherent thoughts and apologies, clawing at the ground. A crimson red tinted his hands and arms as he choked on his tears.  
He opened his mouth to scream when a voice made him shiver. It was almost the voice of Deceit, of his friend.

Almost.

“It’s so sad isn’t it?”

It was smooth and warm, just like Deceit’s was, but there was something more in the stranger’s tone. Something sharp, something cold, something dangerous.

But Remus didn’t care, he wanted his friend back, he didn’t want to be alone. His brother had left him, the light sides had left him, Virgil had left him, Dee couldn’t leave too. 

The words sent shivers down the creative side’s spine, but he chose to ignore them. His friend, his last friend, was still there, even if it was only half of him, he would do anything to make him stay, to not be alone.

He would do anything.


	3. Bittersweet luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth tries to remember Deceit's memories. It doesn't go too well.

It had been three days since the split. Truth still hadn’t regained consciousness and was sleeping on the couch of the light side’s commons. Logan was reading beside him, Patton was cooking and Roman and Virgil were talking about the next video in the kitchen. 

The atmosphere was nice as always, but a bit more tense. They had only a vague idea of what was going on and, as much as they tried, to go see the dark sides was impossible, the access was locked and even Virgil was kept out.

A groan made Logan stop reading, Truth was waking up. He hastily closed his book and called Patton, telling him to bring water and food and to inform the other two that the truthful side was regaining consciousness.

Truth whimpered and tried to sit helped gently by Logan.

“It has been three days since you were last conscious, I advice that you do not speak, Patton will come back with food and water.”

As Logic said the last words, Patton entered the room followed by Virgil and Roman, their hands full with water bottles and soup.

The new side greedily took the meal and began eating only stopping to take their breath. He finally slowed when he was stopped by the logical side. When he finished, he shyly gave back his bowl to Patton.

“Sorry.”

His voice was a bit raspy from not being used for so long.

“Why are you sorry kiddo? You did nothing wrong.”

“Well. I just… showed up and, um, you know I…”

He gestured vaguely to the empty bowl in Patton’s hands.

Roman laughed loudly.

“Don’t worry you were just hungry, and we don’t mind you just… showing up.”

The creative side smiled, and Truth did the same. For a moment, no one spoke.

“I do not wish to seem rude, but it appear that we are lacking information on you and if you could try to remember which side you split from and if you have any memories from before the split it would help us a lot.”

“I already know who I split from, but I can try to remember before!”

“YOU DO?!?”

Roman was shocked, he didn’t know who his whole was until the light sides told him and he couldn’t dress a portrait of King until a few weeks later. The other half looked at Creativity with confusion before hushing him, saying that he needed silence to concentrate.

+++++

Emotions overwhelmed Truth immediately. They were crashing into him in waves, one second it was pure fury the second it was a fond softness. He focused on Patton first. It might have been a bad first choice, but it was too late for regret. Resentment, anger, pain, sadness, disillusion, awe, jealousy and rage left Truth gasping for breath, but he continued he wanted to know. Splotches of color appeared in his vision only to disappear seconds later, he heard indiscernible whispers and shouts that were quickly replaced by a lonely phrase.

Why you and not me?

A few tears escaped his eyes and he continued with Roman. Truth liked him, he was nice, he felt safe. Apparently, his whole did not. First came anger, then annoyance, disbelief, disappointment, indignation and hurt. Red, green and silver blinded him and went away. He heard insults and he heard exited voices, but they were all overridden by a bitter phrase.

Hate me, I’m the villain, but why your brother?

Next came Virgil. Instantly, a sob wrecked Truth’s body. Pain, anger, distrust, excitement, sadness, joy, apprehension, acceptance, love and remorse hit him like a wall. Purple spots filled his vision and he heard shouts, giggles, cries and laughs before everything went black. A broken voice rose from the void. It was full of remorse and Truth didn’t understand what came with it, but it resonated deep within him. It only said a word.

Sorry.  
\---  
And it was too much, Truth snapped back awake shaking and crying. He didn’t want to know, he couldn’t know. He knew the emotions, but he didn’t know the scene. It was all bittersweet, he could feel the resentment and anger towards the others, but it was filled the love and want to be accepted.

The light sides were gathered around Truth, worrying and, in Virgil’s case, panicking about what was so bad it had made him cry.

When the truthful side opened his eyes, he moved closer to Logan and buried his face in the logical side’s chest. He sobbed, desperately clutching the other side’s shirt, wetting the fabric with tears. Logan patted Truth’s back, trying to comfort him to the best of his abilities.

The other light sides came nearer to the new side and patted his back, but he slapped their hands away, pressing closer to Logan. Truth sobbed louder and tried wiping the tears off his cheeks, but they just kept flowing back. 

A thousand words bounced in his head, but he couldn’t place them in order. He wanted to say something, to scream, or maybe to sob harder until they would all fade away, but he didn’t. He was like a child who just had everything taken away from them. And it wasn’t far away from the truth.

He looked the sides in front of him and beat back another sob. A single word escaped his throat in a hoarse whisper.

“Why?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to have the second half too and like, four time the content, but I guess not! ^u^ It's fun to be able to write more than three phrases.


	4. Answers and goals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit has a goal and Truth want an answer, but is the one to give them.

Lying had always been a prominent trait for Deceit, it was his primary function. After that came self preservation and selfish desires. None of this was inherently bad, but somehow a division ended up happening. A division provoked by Deceit himself. I was hard to believe, even for him, but, hey, now he could do whatever he wanted. He could toy with the others if he wanted, he knew he could. But that was if he wanted. He wasn’t a monster, he still retained feelings and instincts from his whole, from the true Deceit. 

Deceit was satisfied, he wasn’t burdened by Truth, he wasn’t weak, and the dear Truth wasn’t bad. Just like his whole had planned. Except for the fact that Deceit wasn’t going to just lay low. Why would he ever do that? Deceit was going to get revenge. Revenge for what his whole endured and then revenge for the light sides making Thomas so weak and pathetic.

  
Thomas was going to achieve his dreams and obtain his desires. Was it that bad if some people get injured along the way? 

  
He didn’t care. Deceit was there for one thing and it was for Thomas and himself, not for other people, not for his brother and certainly not for the other sides. The dark sides would make good tools to achieve his plan, but the light sides were going down. They would burn, they would suffer and, maybe that wasn’t for Thomas, he’d give you that, maybe it was for him, but he was selfish was he not?

  
+++++

  
Truth sat there silently staring at the light sides, sniffling and sobbing quietly, expecting an answer.

  
“Why?”

  
That was a good question. A good question with a multitude of answers possible, but it was one that had a desperate need for context, a context that the light side were not given. They looked at the truthful side, unsure of what answer was expected of them.

  
“I’m sorry kiddo… why what?”

  
Patton spoke carefully, like he was in front of a dangerous animal blinded by insanity. Truth sniffled, drying more tears leaking out of his eyes.

  
“Why did you make him so… sad?”

  
His words quiet, like he was afraid of scaring the truth away.

  
“Truth, who are you talking about? Who did you split from?” 

  
Logan tone was soft, caring. It didn’t feel like he was talking to a delusional person, but like he was talking to someone in need of reassurance, which was enough to make the new side stop crying.

  
“Deceit.”

  
It wasn’t shaky, it wasn’t quiet, it wasn’t shameful. It was a fact. It was the truth. A truth that Patton, Virgil and Roman took badly, but a truth nonetheless.   
“You can’t be serious, you’re confused. Truth can’t come from Deceit.” 

  
“Come on kiddo, lying is bad and you’re the opposite of Deceit, it makes no sense. Logan, help us please.”

  
“That’s not true, you’re not obligated to lie! Are you even really Truth? How are we sure that you’re not just Deceit in disguise?”

  
Their voice overlapped and ranged from concerned, to disbelieved, to out right aggressive. The only one to stay silent was Logan. The logical side fixed a point in the air, lost in his thoughts. Truth had white knuckles from how hard he was currently gripping the end of his robe. The little white dots on his cheeks slowly started to glow a soft gold. A smile appeared on his face and he said in a cold, yet happy, voice.

  
“Well, I’m here now. Deceit split, I’m one of the end results, and it’s the truth, not like I can do much else.”

  
The side with gold-littered cheeks curled back into a ball and softly gripped Logan’s shirt, snapping the logical side from his thoughts back to reality. The other sides shared looks of worry and remorse, maybe they were wrong and maybe they could have said their doubts nicer. 

  
But past was past, and present was time for apologies which came like rain after a fire. Patton was the one with the most ‘sorry’s. He pleaded for Truth to listen and tried to make himself forgiven. Roman apologies were half hearted, but still came from a place of remorse. Virgil only grumbled something, but it was obvious he was still sorry. Truth didn’t know what to think and he fell back asleep to the sound of apologies and the bittersweet taste of lies by omission.

+++++

In the shadows of the light palace, a monstrous being chuckled darkly, a dangerous smile spread wide on his face. Maybe his brother wasn’t as lost as he thought, maybe he could be of use. And even if his sibling was useless, the chaos and distrust was enough to facilitate his plan.

  
In the darkness of the corners of the light palace, a new Deceit sank back to his room with the bittersweet taste of lies by omission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Truth wearing a roman robe? Yes. Do I love it? Also yes. Does it make sense with canon clothing style? No. Will I do it anyways? Yes!  
> It was also going to have more things happen in it, but I guess that will happen in the next chapter.  
> Sorry for the inconsistent uploads, but I can’t keep myself consistent.  
> Criticism and all comments are appreciated.  
> <3


	5. A plan for the better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth has a plan

Truth woke up in his bed, his mind still blurry from the sleep. He looked around to determine where he was. It was room. It was like he was connected to the place. He knew that was his room. It was brightly lit up by a white light. The walls were bare except from a single bookshelf. It was relatively modern in an assortment of blacks and whites. The only color in the room were a couple of potted plants in the corner and a small bouquet of yellow tulips.

He rubbed his eyes, stretched and yawning. He got up and pulled back the covers to make his bed. When he turned around, he saw a piece of paper with a note quickly scribbled on it with dark blue ink.

_Patton will be making dinner, if you are not awake by the time it is ready there will be leftovers in the fridge._   
_\- Logan_   
_Ps: The others did not enter your room._

Truth was grateful that only Logan had entered his room. He didn’t want the others to enter a place like this.

Truth exited his room and went downstairs to the kitchen, he was starving. He had difficulty to know how to feel towards the light sides, on one part he hated how they treated his whole and on the other he couldn’t hate them, something in him was missing and it made it impossible for him to hate them. Yes, he despised how the had treated his whole. Yes, he was angry at them. But, no, he didn’t hate them. Their past behavior, yes, but not them.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and froze. They were in the idle of eating… supper? What time was it? How long did he sleep?  
Patton gasped and sat him down between him and Logan and in front of Virgil. The dad-like side served him pasta and Truth started eating. It was delicious. An uncomfortable silence fell onto them and stayed until Patton took the initiative.

“So, kiddo, how are you doing?”

Truth grimaced. He really didn’t want to answer.

“I don’t know, like something’s missing. It’s so weird and… uhm, bad.”

“Yea I know, it’s gonna stay like that, but you grow used to it.” Roman said, shifting on his seat.

The truthful side took a bite of spaghetti. He didn’t want it to grow used to it. He wanted to be whole again. 

Logan scraped in throat and turned to face Truth.

“So, I am sorry if this is a bad question, but did you really split from Deceit?”

“Yes, my name is literally Truth and you all still think I’m lying?”

“Sorry, but, understand, Deceit and Truth are so opposing concept we doubted your word. Do you know why he, um, you split?”

Anger washed over Truth again and he gripped his fork so tight his knuckles became white.

“From what I know, it’s because of _you_.” His voice was dripping with venom and his eyes filled with unshed angry tears.

Shocked, everyone stopped what they were doing.

“We didn’t know, sorry.”

A thick silence settled on the group.

The truthful side carelessly threw his fork into his plate and stood up abruptly.

“I’m going to find my half and become whole again.” He said with determination.

“But you can’t do that! He’s a _dark side_ and you’re a _light side_!”

Patton cried out, rising to his feet. Logan stood up too, motioning to the moral side to stay quiet.

“ _If_ you are going to do that, how can we help you? Do you have a plan? I believe I am speaking for everyone in this room when I say we understand we made mistakes and that we want to make things right again.”

“But… he can’t do that.”

Roman’s voice was weak and uncertain. On the contrary, Virgil’s was certain and firm.

“Yea! He can’t! Dark sides are _bad_!”

“Well, I can do it and I will.”

Logan sighed and looked at the forming argument in front of him.

“First of all, Virgil you were a dark side in the past, it’s very hypocritical of you. Secondly, if we do not support Truth’s choices he might get hurt or worse, the only other way to keep him relatively safe would be to lock him up somewhere and that is a definite no. And we obviously made mistakes if Truth is here. A side splitting is never a good sign and we should learn from our errors and fix them for a better future. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to my room, I have work to do.”

An unpleasant silence fell on the remaining sides. Half looking angry, half looking worried. The truthful side and Vigil staring furiously at each other from across the table. Truth huffed and started to leave when Roman spoke up.

“I-I’ll go with you to the dark sides! You’ll need someone to protect you after all.”

Truth shot him a smile and hurried upstairs. He needed a plan and Logan would help him with that… probably.

[This](https://probablymebutimnotsure.tumblr.com/post/615247710794235904) is Truth (Yes I drew this, it's my Tumblr.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was Truth. If you want more drawings et me know and I’ll put more in the next chapters.  
> Also, I changed my mind, Patton is going full on unsympathetic and maybe Virgil too ( I mean probably, but let’s lie and say I won’t do it). I’m absolutely not sorry.


	6. Fight for control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit start putting his plan in action, but is met with resistance.

In the dark part of the mind space, a fight was on the verge of breaking. The shadows curled and gripped the two figures standing in opposites corners of the room.

The first one’s eyes were shinning in a yellow light, their slit pupils fixated on the side in front of him. He was hissing, his mouth open just enough so that his two fangs could be seen. The scales covering his body seamed lit from the inside. The side was tall, to tall to be human and stood up right, their loose clothing floating around them, “pushed” by an invisible wind.

The second side was low on the ground, growling and baring his teeth, half-way through a transformation. Power was coming in waves from his eyes, cracking through the air like small orange thunder bolt. Two dog-like ears were turned back on his head and their tail was batting the air furiously. Their claws dug the ground and the orange glow from his eyes illuminated his face twisted into an expression of hatred.

The scaled side was the first to speak.

“Why _do_ you just listen to me? It would be so much _harder_ , I _do_ want to hurt you, Wrath.”

“ I take orders from Deceit and Deceit **only**! You have **no right** to do that and you have **even less right** to take his **name**!”

Deceit only shook his head and took a step forward, Wrath taking a step back.

“Don’t come any closer!” The orange side growled.

Deceit knew to take the warning seriously, if he took a step closer Wrath would attack.

Wrath was good, if not excellent, in combat. He could beat most of the dark side, even Deceit. But that was only if no powers were involved, in the present situation Deceit had the advantage, he wouldn’t leave unharmed, but he still had the best chances to win. He knew that.

With a smirk, the deceitful side took another step forward.

Immediately, Wrath sunk down and appeared in front of Deceit, summoning his weapon, a pair of brass knuckles. He took a swing, but fell back when the yellow side silenced him with force before summoning two iron fans with intricate snake motifs. In a blur of movement, they were inches close before one of them sent the other flying backwards, the pattern repeating itself. Deceit cut the other’s arm deeply, but was sent tumbling back when Wrath punched his jaw and a sickening crack echoed through the room, pain blooming in his jaw and blood filling his mouth.

The orange side snarled and lunged forward. Deceit dodged and used the wall to jump higher and slammed Wrath into the ground. The angry side hit the floor with a loud thud and rolled to his side whimpering, gasping for air. Deceit vaporized his weapon and put his foot on top of the other’s back maintaining him lying on the ground.

The liar healed his jaw and bent down, turning Wrath so that he laid on his back. He took his chin in his hand.

“Now, will you obey?”

He said, baring his fangs and hissing menacingly.

Wrath chuckled, ignoring the pain the action was provoking.

“Why should I even deliver your message, you can’t do it by yourself?”

Deceit frowned. He leaned close to the other side’s ear and whispered.

“If you don’t do what I say, I will take Apathy and kill them over and over again until you won’t be able to recognise them. _Do_ say you’ll stop me, you _are_ able to.”

Wrath tensed and shivered, unable to tell if the new side would do such a thing. He thought about his friend, before shaking any thoughts about his away. Deceit was gone, that _thing_ was _not_ Deceit.

“O-ok. I’ll do it.”

The deceitful side released Wrath and left to his room, closing the door behind him.

The orange side balled his fist in anger, tying not to scream to not alert the other dark sides. He walked back to his room, but stopped by Remus’ before. He knocked. A sick looking Remus answered. His eyes were red from crying and dark bags were under them, the creative side had obviously lost weight and was paler than before. He was also strangely quiet, probably the worst sign of all considering he was _Remus_.

“Remus, you should eat. It‘s not good for you to stay in your room all the time.”

Remus nodded, smiled and closed the door, going back to doing god knows what in his room.

Wrath went to his room, slamming the door behind him and went straight for a black door in the back. He entered and locked the door. The place had only a table, some plates and a punching bag. The room was soundproof, it was made specifically for him, to scream and break things when he was angry. And, oh boy, was he angry.

He took a plate and threw at the ground watching it shatter to pieces. He screamed and punched his punching bag, continuing to evacuate his anger.

\----------------------------

At his desk, Deceit was scribbling notes on one of the multiple pieces of paper scattered on the wooden desk and cursing under his breath at the bruises on his arm and the pain in his jaw. A snake slithered across the mess and wrapped itself around the side’s neck. A smile flickered on the scaled side’s lips before vanishing when the man remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

On the page was written the name of every side and notes according to the rare memories he still had as the true Deceit and his observation taken in the last week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Deceit speaks only in lies and, no, I did not make any mistakes with the lies in his dialogues. ;) <3


	7. A plan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth comes to Logan for help.

Truth walked fast down the hallway. Tears welling up inside his eyes. He dried them harshly, he shouldn’t let any of this affect him, it wasn’t the time. He passed multiple doors. A baby blue one, a red one, a purple one and even a white one, his own room.

He stopped at an indigo door. It was decorated with stars and cartoony planets, a lonely astronaut floating in the middle.

Truth stared at the door, his hand hovering above it, before knocking lightly.

A muffled voice answered him. 

“Come in.”

Geometrical shapes were painted on walls and galaxies were twirling on the ceiling. Everything was clean and organized, be it by color, size or other systems Truth wasn’t familiar with. A giant bookshelf was covering the entire wall at Truth’s right. 

Truth sat on the bed and let himself fall backwards, observing the stars. He wanted to be Deceit again, he wanted to be himself again. It felt like a ghost limb, but with his entire body. A light force pulled him towards the dark side of the mind space and accompanied by an intense need. He didn’t only want to be his whole again, he needed it.

“Logan, can you help me? I need a plan an- and you’re the best at making plan! At least, I think. Are you the best at making plan?”

The truthful side sat up and looked the other in the eyes. Logan sighed.

“I will help you, but, Truth, I need to know something.”

“What?”

“You seem to have some… unpleasant memories about the others and I would like to know what memories you have of me. If it doesn’t bother you, of course.”

Truth ruffled his hair, searching for the best answer. 

“I don’t really have any memories about you. I stopped after Virgil it-“ 

Truth voice cracked and he wiped the tears in his eyes.

“It was too much, and I only have emotions, some words and vague colors to place in memories. I didn’t want to remember past actions each time I saw you and to stay alone…”

The truthful side smiled and turned back to the stars losing himself in the galaxies.

The bed dipped under the weight of the logical side when he sat next to the other man. He put a hand on the new side’s arm, trying his best to comfort him.

“Logan?”

“Yes?”

“Do you- How was Deceit?”

“He was… uhm… I do not have a lot on information on him, he lived in the other side of the mindscape. He was sarcastic, his voice was deeper than yours, he didn’t come often in the light part of the mindscape, I believe he disliked multiple aspect of society and he seemed to have a good knowledge of philosophy. He was a good debater and also Thomas’ self-preservation. I am sorry, I cannot be much more helpful than this.”

“No, no. It’s ok. Do you know his name?”

“No, I do not. However, I believe Virgil does.”

Truth grimaced and looked at Logan.

“I need to find my other half. We need to form Deceit again. Logan, I need your help. Can you help me? Please?”

Logan smiled.

“I think we can make a plan.”

Truth’s smile beamed. He got up and pulled Logan forward to his desk practically bouncing in place. The other side summoned a chair and looked at Truth. A strong determination was emanating from him. They talked for hours planning, experimenting and theorising, trying to come up with a plan that wouldn’t fail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHH!! I’m soo sorry I didn’t update for so long! I promise it’s not discontinued and more updates will come soon!


	8. Start of a forest fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrath appear in the light side's commons. He says he wants food, but does he wants something else too?

Logan and Truth brainstormed a long time before being stopped by a loud commotion coming from downstairs. They could hear shouts and hissing, which grew more and more aggressive by the second.

They rushed in the kitchen only to find Roman pointing his sword under the chin of a visibly very angry side and Virgil hissing and standing defensively in front of Patton who was screaming in a panicked tone at the furious side to leave the light side’s area.

The dark side was clenching his teeth, glaring at the light sides growling words that neither Logan nor Truth could catch.

The logical side cleared his throat, bringing the attention to him and the truthful side in the doorway. Patton immediately started talking, cutting off Logan who had just opened his mouth.

“Logan! Did you tell him he could eat here??!! Why would you do that?!”

“Well, first off Patton I, in fact, did not tell him that he could eat here, but, secondly, if I hypothetically did, I do not see any problem to that fact.

The moral side immediately turned around after Loan’s first words and pointed an accusatory finger in the other side’s direction.

“You lied! I knew Logan would never do that!”

“This Is not what I said, I do not see any problem in him taking some of our food I-“

Logan was cut of by Virgil’s shout.

“What it he tempers with our food! He could be here to poison us!

The orange side snorted.

“Bitch, we both know that’s not true. I‘m just hungry and we don’t have anything, so I’m coming to eat here.”

“Can’t Remus just summon some food anyways?”, Roman interrupted.

Wrath eyebrows scrunched up in a frown as he opened his mouth.

“He’s… caught up in some _project_ of his, he won’t leave his room.”

Roman lowered his sword, his eyes and voice filled with concern for his brother. Despite what he would say everyone in the room knew the creative side loved his twin deeply.

“Is- is he ok?”

“Yea.”

Orange’s eyes were locked on the floor, his fists clenched so hard his fingernails were digging in his palms and blood was slipping out in tiny drops out of the cuts.

Truth and Logan exchanged a knowing look. The bitter taste of the lie overflowing in the new side’s mouth.

There was a minute of uncomfortable silence before Virgil spat more accusations at the dark side and listed everything that could ever go wrong with letting him take food from them. Patton sided with Virgil, whilst Logan did his best to defend the orange side. Roman only stared at the ongoing fight and the angry side took a step back observing the chaos unraveling beneath his eyes.

And Truth took the opportunity. Quickly, he took hold of the other side’s arm and looked the other side in the eyes, shoving something in Orange’s chest, a small pate of food, probably leftovers.

The orange side stared down at the side clutching his shirt. He could see the resemblance with Janus, but it was sparse. There was an inch of malice in his eyes and the kind protectiveness the snake side had, but he wasn’t _him_. He didn’t have the same smirk, he didn’t have the same voice, which was strange since they all came from the same person after all, he didn’t have the same sly smile, he was too expressive, he _wasn’t Janus_.

And it hurt.

It hurt him so much.

He shrugged Truth off and quickly sunk down, not bothering to take the food with him.

The moment he appeared in the dark sides’ commons he collapsed on the couch breathing shakily.

He ran a hand down his face.

He missed the past.


	9. Matchsticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is an ass and Wrath wants to hit him.

Deceit entered the room, his clothes swaying behind him.

Wrath immediately closed his fist and growled, resulting in a mere laugh from the other side. It only took a few steps and Deceit was in front of the angry side, reaching over the back of the couch, he cupped the orange side’s face harshly, forcing Wrath to look into his eyes.

“Now, now. You _would_ want to start annoying me after doing such a good job, would you?”

Only silence answered.

“I _won’t_ take that as a yes then. But, before I leave, did my sibling say anything to you? Of course, _do_ try to lie.”

The snake side was smiling, but his eyes had a dangerous glint to them.

Whilst saying something along the lines of ‘Actually, he did say something, that you should fuck off’ was very tempting, it was a very bad idea to anger Deceit and Wrath had learned it the hard way, so he simply choked out a spite filled no, glaring at the side towering him.

This earned him a grin, but not the kind of grin you would shoot at your fiend, the one a killer would give his victims instant before slaughtering them.

_“Good boy.”_

The only reason that Deceit still had his eyes in that very moment was only because 1) he quickly turned back to his room and 2) the defiance in his tone was obvious and Wrath was a being made of spite and desire to stay alive.

Orange swallowed his rage and focused instead on not ruining his already bloody palms with his nails. Smirking at his victory, Deceit closed the door to his room, he needed to be sure the rest of his plan would go smoothly.

When he heard the door lock, Wrath curled on himself and let tears slip past his eyelids, breathing heavily, a low whine escaping his throat.

He missed his friend, he missed the life they had before. He knew it wasn’t amazing, but they were pretty happy, at least more than now. A growl rose in his chest, and his anger started to bubble again as he thought of the new snake side. Wrath got up and walked up to his room, drying his tears, he needed to be strong. If not for him, for his friends, and if not for them, for Janus.

It’s what he would have wanted.

It was the only thing Wrath was sure of now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmh i really don't like how this chapter turned out, but it's already the forth time i rewrite it...  
> also:), it gets better in the next chapter :)


	10. Honey lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love logan :)  
> don't you? :)

Logan woke up.

A cold sweat ran down his back. The darkness pressed on his sides, obstructing his vision and only letting him see unclear shapes where he knew his furniture was. He shivered, trying to convince himself to go back to sleep, but something made him froze.

There, in the corner of his room, he was sure there was someone looking at him. He knew it was only his imagination paired with the dark, but it still terrified him to think he might not be alone.

With shaky hands, he reached over to his bedside table and switched on his lamp.

The light blinding him, he rubbed his eyes who were adjusting slowly to the sudden brightness.

That was, until he heard a soft click coming from his left and he was plunged in darkness once again.

Logan’s blood ran cold. He surely didn’t turn off that lamp by himself and, by that logic, it meant he, in fact, wasn’t alone in his room. He didn’t move, he didn’t dare to.

The only thing he could hear was the shaky breathing that he was desperately trying to keep steady and the pounding of his own heart in his ears.

A cold hand clasped his shoulder and he tensed, preparing for the worst, but only a smooth voice answered his fear.

Logan could recognise this voice anywhere, it was Janus’. But there was something more in his voice. Something dark, cold, calculated.

His voice was begging, and it would dupe almost everyone to sound sad, _truthful._ Logan was one of those people.

“Logan… I _do not_ need your help. I _don’t_ know how bad the light sides treat you, I _don’t_ know how it feels to be left out. I _can’t_ help you if you help me. It _will_ even be hard, you _won’t_ just need to be the last one to walk in our side when dear little Truth will come looking for me. See? _Complicated_. And after that, you will be listened to all you want. We all will. Remus, me, the others… So, what do you think?

Logic could feel a breath hitching on the back of his ear. All the words the side said were lies. A shiver ran down his spine. He knew he shouldn’t listen, but his words were so tempting almost… hypnotising. Why did he want to listen?

“You- you are not Janus.”

“Hmm… you are _wrong_ , dear Logan I _am_ him, but I still _don’t_ know how hard, how painful it is to be ignored. I also _don’t_ know that you should _always_ be ignored. _Yes_ , you are _not_ Logan, Logic, the voice of reason!”

Logan was shaking, his logic and his emotions were clashing. What emotions, he didn’t know, but they were fierce, roaring and bubbling in his throat.

“I’m _not_ counting on you.”

And with that, it was finished. Logan lied back on his bed, still shaking and tears were now slipping free down his cheeks. Trembling, he curled in a ball and sobbed all the sorrow his soul was housing, torn between the love for his family and the desire - no, the _need_ to be listened to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you hit me, i said it was going to get better, never said for who


End file.
